The Useless Loop and how to bypass it

On the beautiful sunny coast of Western Australia, there is a mysterious little town at the end of a peninsula. It is a closed community, with some 70 employees and their families working at a solar salt mining company. With one long road coming in and out, circling the peninsula, the town is called Useless Loop.

Whilst exploring Google Maps, I came across this town and was struck by its beauty, uniqueness, and of course, the name. While I’m not sure it’s an apt name, seeing as the road itself is indeed useful, it made me think of a more figurative useless loop. The one my brain gets into when I’m ruminating. 

People who struggle with OCD, anxiety, and general worry already know what I am talking about. It’s a place your mind goes when you have an intrusive thought or an obsessive worry. Your mind gets stuck on it and you begin ruminating. 

You ask every what-if possible. Your mind goes into overdrive. You’re considering every worst case scenario. The scene plays again and again. You can’t stop it. This, in my mind, is the real useless loop. 

So why do we do this?

Everyone who has experienced this knows that ruminating and being stuck in the useless loop does not help. It doesn’t solve anything and it doesn’t make you feel better. Yet you can feel compelled to ruminate on these thoughts and find it very difficult to move on. 

The fact is, this is the way your brain has decided to attempt to solve a problem. By ruminating, you’re running through every possible scenario and convincing yourself that if you do this, you’ll be prepared for the worst. When the unfortunate incident happens, you’ve already done the training by going through a mental checklist of how you’ll respond. You’ve thought about it over and over again and therefore you’ll be ready to deal with it when it occurs. 

Unfortunately, this isn’t really how it works. Ruminating on a situation over and over again only raises your stress levels. Your cortisol shoots up, your heart races, and suddenly you’re not thinking clearly. Therefore, you’re not in the best state of mind to deal with anything, much less any kind of emergency scenario. 

My anxious brain has taken the journey on the useless loop many many times. I am very familiar with the road. This really came to a head when my children were born. Suddenly I had these two helpless little creatures who rely on me for everything. The pressure was really on. It was too easy to fall into scenarios where they got injured, someone hurt them, or they contracted some deadly disease.

There were times where I would spiral into a full on panic attack. Life kept moving, so many things were out of my control, and how could I possibly stop bad things happening to my little ones? I was at the mercy of intrusive thoughts and ruminating.

That’s when I decided something had to change. After taking my mental health seriously, I started another round of therapy, did some self reflection, and made some lifestyle changes. Now, I can confidently say that things are much better, and the changes I implemented have helped.

Firstly, I had to stop doom scrolling. There is a never ending font of bad news, sadness, and heartache at our finger tips. It can feel like you’re learning or doing something productive to read stories about the suffering of the world, or to hear about people who have experienced profound loss. It can move you and make you grateful for what you have. However, at the end of the day, it is an unnecessary stress that I have chosen to cut out of my life. I am not designed to bear the weight of the world on my shoulders. I have seriously reduced my screen time and chosen to avoid sad and depressing news.

Secondly, I had to take my physical and mental health seriously. If I could get into the best shape of my life, and help my family do the same, then I was doing everything I could to keep us happy and healthy. I made a serious effort to do all the right things. Nutrient dense meals, circadian rhythm training, full on physical activity, time in nature, everything. At least I knew that if any emergency did arise, I would be in peak condition to handle it.

Lastly, I had to learn to grab the helm whenever those ruminating thoughts arise. It took a lot of practise, but now I can see them coming a mile off. Whenever my brain starts to drift toward the “Useless Loop” exit, I grab the wheel and steer us in the right direction.

I remind myself that there is no emergency present. If there is, I will be ready to deal with it. I will know what to do  because I am a smart, capable person. I remind myself that all is well now, and this is my chance to enjoy life. We only get one shot at it, why not make it count?

These might sound simple in theory but difficult in practise. That may be so, but with a lot of effort, you too can make these habits count for yourself. It may take some help from professionals, but don’t be afraid. They are there to help you and they’ve heard it all before. You’re not a freak or a broken person for struggling with anxious thoughts and rumination.

It happens because you care. Because your big sensitive heart is doing its best to protect itself. That is nothing to be ashamed of. It is better to care too much than not at all.

So next time you feel yourself drifting toward the Useless Loop, have a moment with yourself. Remember that you can steer yourself in another direction. Remember that you’ve been there before and it wasn’t worth it. There is so much else to see, so many other things for your mind to do. Get into the habit of steering away and soon you’ll find yourself feeling more in control, more yourself, and more confident.